Ladies pinky ring 14k white gold - $300

theAd>>Unique old fashioned ring with marquise shape, 3 single cut diamonds. Appraised for $799 asking $300.

Is this specifically a "pinky" ring? I mean, is there something about it that requires it to be wore on the pinky? Cause I think there is no such thing as a "Ladies pinky ring". I think you are making that up. And really, even dude pinky rings are pretty creepy.

So I am going to assume that it would fit other fingers if they were less sausage-like.

None of this matters however since if what I gather from the crappy photo is accurate.....it's kind of ugly...on any finger......right

Ann Taylor Ladies Yellow 100% CASHMERE Sweater sz Large BEST OFFER - $50

theAd>>This sweater is yellow, size large in excellent condition, only worn ONCE!!
I'm 5'8" and this sweater is a little short on me. It was purchased at Macy's for $100.
I AM OPEN TO ALL REASONABLE OFFERS!!! please inquire
This would make a great christmas gift...

Great! You can give the gift of looking like a fancy Butter Ball. The kind you get at brunch, that's sitting in ice, you pick it up with those little fancy tongs...got the picture in your head? Yeah you want to look like that...right?

Crochet Flower Headbands Interchangable GREAT GIFT! Many style - $5

theAd>> These are great for the holidays, everyday, or just for fun! I have many different colors to chose from! The flowers are interchangable (clip on) so you can mix and match. They are one size fits all (baby to adult). You can also wear the clip flowers alone as a barrette. I can sell single or as a gift set.

Okay, these are not "great" or "fun" They are just large and....floral. There are some things that simply do not need to be decorated and I firmly believe baby heads fall into this category.

HOLY OG WATCH - $25

theAd>>WOW THIS WATCH HAS THE WHOLE TEN COMANDMENTS SCROLLED ACROSS THE BAND IT'S A BEAUTIFUL PIECE FEATURING ANALOG QUARTZ MOVEMENT STERLING SILVER FACE & BAND CUSTOM INSCRIBED WITH ALL TEN COMANDMENTS AVON QUALITY! THIS WATCH WILL MAKE A GREAT GIFT FOR THAT SOMEONE SPECIAL LET US NOT FORGET THE 11TH COMANDMENT I ONLY HAVE 2 OF THESE BABYS AVAILABLE HE OR SHE WHO COMETH FIRST SHALL RECEIVE ITH THY HOLY TREASURE READY FOR THY HOLIDAYS!

"AVON QUALITY!" Is that a good thing? At least it wasn't given to your Grandma by Moses on her birthday! [old post]

ROLEX - $8000

theAd>>GRANDMAS WATCH MUST SELL,GIVEN TO HER BY AL CAPONE FOR HER BIRTHDAY IN CHICAGO IN 1930S WILL TAKE OFFERS

I would like to offer to take a picture of Grandma's watch with your camera's focus and close-up features enabled.

Or we could use my camera, it was given to my Grandma by Paul Bunyan at a party for Babe, [his giant blue ox]..If you know what I mean.

Lawn Geese - Concrete and Plasticand

theAd>> Having trouble finding Concrete & Plastic Lawn Geese?
We carry FULL-LINE OF Concrete Geese and outfits for all sizes. Extra-Small (9")- $12.00, Small (14")- $15.00, Medium (19")- $25.00, Large (24")- $40.00, Extra Large (29") - $50.00 and even the Large Plastic Goose - $25.00.
We are "Gifts & More Crafts Galore"

WONDERFUL!!!!
I can NEVER find clothes to fit my "husky" plastic goose. And my petite concrete goose...well forget about it. Flossy, that's her name, needed a raincoat last spring and every single one I bought her was just too long. I know you can have them shortened but they just don't seem to hang right afterward. You know what I mean.

Plus your prices are waaaaaay better than "Crap & Geese 'n Stuff" [And between you and me, the folks there are a little odd]

San Diego Chargers SUNGLASSES ! ! - $6

theAd>> San Diego Chargers SUNGLASSES ! !

San Diego Chargers novelty SUNGLASSES ! ! !
Show your Charger pride. Wear them, put them on your hat or hang them off your rear view mirror.
$6.- each. We have many !! call xxx-xxxx or come by Optical Studio

First let me translate this Ad. Optical Studio sells these sh@$#y glasses for 6 bucks. They are so ugly that they have offered you two alternatives to actually placing them on your face.

Show your chargers pride AND drive the Ladies Wild! That is why there running, right, they are WILD!?

$$$ low price for skirt&dress$$$ - $299

theAd>> new!!! new!!!

10 short dress 11 short skirts 2 long dress 100 ways to wear it all in 1 piece all for 299$

I wish I had paid more attention in algebra. (10+11+2=1)$$$ - $299. That must be a low price in that "new!!! new!!!" math.

Skittles Novelty Taste The Rainbow Adult Black Jacket - $1

theAd>> I bought this jacket on impulse in Orlando on Oct 16th of this year and have no need for it. It is NEW, I do however need the money I payed $180 for it it’s stitched and hard to find. It is a Large and would be a great Xmas present to anyone that likes NASCAR or a colorful expensive looking novelty jacket. In addition the one time I wore it kept me very warm one of a kind can’t be found very easy and nowhere in Saint Louis I am selling for best offer would at least like to get $125 though I need the money for bills.

What large adult male wants a "colorful expensive looking novelty Jacket"? Apparently not even the one who bought it.

Let me make this clear. this jacket was expensive, HOWEVER, it is NOT expensive looking.

Once the seasick feeling from your strange and confusing punctuation subsided I realize that you are just an idiot. No straight man would wear a "taste the rainbow" jacket for fear of an ass whooping and no gay man would wear it because it is warthog ugly. I think think the jacket can only be described as forever yours.

Couture Wedding Gown Sz. 10-16 VERY VINTAGE - $850

This vintage, mermaid style dress is a discontinued Alyce gown. [Uh, YES!]

It is made of Taffeta and Battenberg Lace, very unique. [that's why!]
It reminds me of an old Hollywood style. [Hollywood Florida...maybe]
It has a matching Battenberg lace jacket that is optional. [OPT OUT!]

I wore it at my wedding October 25th this year. [We didn't want to tell you. There was a terrible accident and you were in a coma for 20 years. It's not 1988]


Original price I paid for the dress was 1,600.00 dollars at Wedding Wonderland in Knoxville TN (I have receipts). [Wedding Wonderland!]


The size of the dress will fit between a 10 and size 16 (Dress is sized very strangely.) [What? These sizes are miles apart. Let me guess. You are a size 16 but the dress says 10. That's the real magic of Wedding Wonderland]

The gown is in excellent condition besides needing to be re-cleaned and pressed. [seriously, cough up the coin and have it cleaned.]

I wore it with a birdcage veil and red vintage heels. [good distraction tactic]

You have to try it on! [Yeah, since we don't know if it's 10 or a 16]

I would say to head on down to your local wedding wonderland. It is your special day. Don't you want your very own out of date, ugly, mis-sized but clean dress?

Garter Set Marine Corps USMC - $15

theAd>> Two Garters: A camo USMC one to keep and a white one "throw away" They are new, never been worn. $15 for the set.

I'm not asking if you're not telling.

Now first off, I would keep the white one and throw the other one away. But keep them both. I prefer matching my garters [much like socks] but practicality dictates a need for two. What marine is gonin' out on a hike with just the one silk stocking? Sheesh.

I do find the camo confusing. Honestly, are you going be in the jungle and a one inch strip of your thigh is the thing that gives you away. When would that happen?

White Faux Fur Leg Warmers/ Boot Covers! - $30

theAd>>I have a pair of Brand NEW white faux- fur leg warmers/ boot covers for sale. These have never been worn except for the picture.

They are generally one- size- fits- all, as they have an elastic band to insure they don't slip down. They are large enough at the bottom to cover most boots.

They are a ton of fun for costumes, parties, dancers, or anyone with a unique sense of style. These leg warmers draw attention!

They are hand- made, and I can also take custom orders for special sizes and other colors. :)

Really. This can not be the original purpose for these. Did ya F@$% up the Christmas tree skirts you were making for your family? Or seriously, how bad are your cankles?

Something tells me you and the hubby might be playing a little Clydesdale and Bud Wagon...if ya know what I mean.

"They are a ton of fun for costumes [NO], parties [NO], dancers [EXOTIC!], or anyone with a unique [HORRIBLE and CONFUSING] sense of style. These leg warmers draw attention! [yeah that is probably true]"

" They are hand- made [really, no sign of mass production on the horizon? hmm], and I can also take custom orders for special sizes [dear god] and other colors [oh yes, a bright color could draw more attention!]. :) [stop smiling, your'e dumb]"

FLOWER HAIR CLIPS AND BOW Clips. Custom. Unique.

theAd>> I make flower hair clips + Bow clips. Email me for q's,make a custom order (want a purple or red glitter flower clip?), etc.The flower clips take 2-3 days to make depending on how busy I am.Glitter Flower:$10.95.

Q. "(want a purple or red glitter flower clip?)"
A. NO

Why? Cause "glitter is the herpes of craft products" [Dimitri Martin]. I would be picking glitter out of the nooks and crannys for the rest of my life.

I do appreciate the truth in advertising. It states "Unique" and "Custom" I believe these statements to be accurate. Best in this case to stay away from words like attractive and desirable. It is neither.

Sassy Black sandal- $15

theAd>> Womens unique strappy sandal platform heel with a sexy snake skin pattern adding a great curve to the shape of your feet! Perfect for any event! Dress up for a steamy hot date or just a night out with the girls. Fun and Flirty!

How much for two...since i have two feet and all.

Oh yeah....this little thing right here , is called a comma. Just a thought.

Man's Painted Shoes One-of -a kind! Colorful-Collector's item! - $49

theAd>> These are a pair of totally unique, "far out" leather shoes with snake skin trim in the back. The bottom sole is made of rubber. They are very colorful and have a tropical design of a palm tree and sunset on each front tip. Definitely eye catching. A conversation piece. Comfortable to wear. Artistic. A collector's item! I only wore them a couple of times, so they are practically new. Size: 8 for man. I paid $150 when new.

I think we all commend the optimism it takes to post these for sale.

However.

Here are the two things you really need to do.

1. Put them in a bag. Take them to a local thrift store. Hand them to the donation taker. Turn and run. Don't look back even if she is yelling "SIR, SIR we can't take these they are too ugly!"
Do this TODAY! Halloween is Friday and that is the only way you could donate them in good conscience.


2. Stop shopping while you are drunk.

NB capris - $3

theAd>> Charlotte Russe capris.. blue tiger print, very unique
size S
$3

You know that great feeling when you get a new pair of red, thong undies, the kind that say FOXY in rhinestones on the back? That feeling is lost if you don't have the purr-fect pair of pants for them to pop out the top of....BINGO!

~ Petunia Pickle Bottom Raspberry Society Satchel Cake Bag ~ - $200

TheAd>> Brand New with Tags!!! Motivated to sell!!!!

Am I the only one who didn't not even think "Diaper bag" based on the description?

Martial arts Color belt - $8

TheAd>> New Color Belt, 100% Cotton. 9 line stitching. 1 3/4" wide. Sizes:000-7 , colors: White, red, yellow, orange, green, blue, purple, brown $10 , black $15 , color belt with white or black stripe $10. Se habla espanol.

Key words: martial arts supplies, karate, uniforms, mugen, shureido, tokaido, rei, tokon, kamikaze, obi, Judo, Aikido, Kendo, Schools, Dojo.

I know, I was disappointed when I realized it was not the plush, gay-pride xylaphone I was shopping for, too.

It's okay though because:

I can just fork over $8 bucks and be a brown belt, wait, is it $10 or $8? Doesn't matter, cause I would cough up the extra coin to be a black belt, who wouldn't!?

This just seems so much easier than taking all those classes with the yelling and kicking. Although based on the keywords they serve Kamakazes.

I will order once I figure out the sizing.

VINTAGE 1980s DESIGNER Hawaiian Plumeria Flowers SUIT * "X" Design * - $14

The Ad >> Vintage 1980s Designer Hawaiian Red & Gold Plumeria Flowers on black background with White Polka Dots Suit in Excellent condition. Flowers & Polka Dots are all the rage on the Fashion Runways for Fall. Style includes Cute jacket with 4 Fabric buttons up front, unusual White Collar that ends in a "X" design in the back with another Fabric button to match, Sleeves have white cuffs with matching fabric button. Skirt has elastic waist, zips up and back kick pleat. Looks great with pumps. For more unique New Designer, Vintage Clothes & Furs search "xxx-xxxx". Extra 10% off Clothes if you buy 3 or more items!

Measurements are: Jacket: Bust 40", Waist 35", Hips 40", Length 21"
Skirt: 28" Waist, 38" Hips, 23" Length, Ladies Sizes 6-10 Medium. $14

3 questions

First, Was there really not one piece of pattern-free floor to photograph on?

Second, Why is her waist 35 inches for the jacket and 38 for the skirt? Maybe the jacket sort of belts the skirt when buttoned. Then, after dinner the jacket comes off and voila! room for dessert! Yeah that's probably it.

Third, WTF?

In case you did not read the novel-like description here is what you need to know

"flowers and polka dots are all the rage on the fashion runway for fall"
"looks great with pumps"
"$14"

$14 seems fair as long as it looks good with pumps, right.

Yeah, he might.

But there is NO WAY he loves your handbag.